I just had a very odd chat on omegle, I put my interest as “feminism”. Here’s one section I found slightly disturbing. It went on for a while, maybe I’ll add the whole chat to a “Read More” post.
I mean he’s actually trying to compare MURDER AND RAPE to “killing a man’s heart”.
I’d laugh if this wasn’t so terrifying.
What’s most frightening about this is that he’s not even saying that “men get raped and murdered because of the friendzone”, he’s saying “men rape and murder women because of the friendzone”. He says “the friendzone is as bad to men as being raped and murdered is to women” And the other person goes “how so?” And they respond with “Women can get raped and murdered by men who have been friendzoned.”
So let’s see. According to this guy: men rape and kill women. Women friendzone men. Men rape and kill women more.
Yes. What a deadly and powerful weapon women have to threaten men with.
I also love how he uses male violence against women as proof of how badly men are hurt. So many rapists and abusers have this justification used to defend them. They would NEVER abuse or rape if their victim didn’t MAKE them, if their victim didn’t ANGER them, if their victim didn’t LEAD THEM ON. -_- That they did such a horrible thing is PROOF that their victim did an even more horrible thing to them!
AJ Withers Disability Politics and Theory p109 (via dandyfied)
Yes Means Yes blog: “visions of female sexual power & a world without rape”
Parents, siblings, carers, cousins, teachers, tutors, mentors, aunts, uncles, etc, of young children: we have a chance to mold the gender relations of the future.
possibly an unpopular opinion, but i kind of hate tumblr anti-ableism. i’ve been trying to cut words like “stupid” and “dumb” from my vocabulary (and when i do use them, i try to apply them to ideas instead of people), but so many people here are more invested in “calling out” others for using extremely common words with dozens of definitions than they are in, um, literally anything else.
idk, it annoys me.
This post might interest you.
I’ve actually seen this, but couldn’t remember where. Thanks for linking it—it sums up my feelings quite well. :)
except? many of the people who have a problem with use of words like “stupid” and “dumb” are disabled and non-neurotypical people whose divergences from societal norms have been reduced by able people to a simple lack of intelligence, which is then used as an excuse for violence against them? like this is an actual thing that happens, ableism isn’t just a lack of handicap stalls. and saying “well those words have dozens of definitions” doesn’t actually erase the oppressive history those words have and the fact that the words and concepts are still being used to oppress people, right now today.
please don’t tell actual disabled people that they cannot call out language that has been used to oppress them just because it’s such a pain in the keister to think about your word choices. i expected better from you.
Honestly, I’ve never gotten this complaint from an actual disabled person, so I’m really not directing my ire at them. I’m directing it at people who aren’t disabled and harp on this issue instead of any of the others. Also, while I don’t have any serious physical disabilities, I do have a learning disability and other problems that affect my cognitive functioning, so please don’t make assumptions about me.
I try to be careful about the language I use, and I know I mess up sometimes. It’s something I’m working to change, but I really take issue with people who act like “stupid” is a slur on par with any number of racist or misogynist slurs. I realize that words like stupid can be used in ableist ways, but that doesn’t make them ableist across the board.
you got this complaint from me, a real life actual disabled person, just like three days ago. and i very specifically made a point to not make assumptions about you. whether you are disabled or not does not change the fact that you’re telling disabled people that it’s ridiculous to find those words problematic enough to call out.
whether you take issue with those words being considered slurs is irrelevant, since they actually are slurs, and using intelligence based insults when the problem you have with the person isn’t their intelligence is just lazy language use. and yeah, insulting a person’s intelligence is, wait for it, ableist across the board.
as i’ve said in numerous posts, i haven’t been keeping up with my inbox, because it’s been piling up with shit. i haven’t read your message, but i’ll get to it when i feel like wading through a mountain of “feminist c*nt”s.
and no, i didn’t say it was “ridiculous” to call out those words, i said i was working to change my vocabulary but often find myself frustrated by the tumblr anti-ableism community’s focus.
This has always been something I’ve struggled to wrap my head around. For example, the word “irrational.” Calling an idea irrational is essentially saying that it was poorly thought out, and I wouldn’t consider that ableist. Labelling a person with OCD or a serious phobia irrational, however, would be ableist because you are (as ecosynchronous said) reducing them to that adjective (and misrepresenting their issue entirely). Which is why I’m confused - they seem to acknowledge that reducing somebody to a word like that is different from the adjective itself. If that’s the case, isn’t ableism in the act of reduction? And as I try applying the word to other situations, like reducing an angry woman on her period to irrational, that seems to be the case all over the place.
I suppose what it comes down to is that I think there’s a profound difference between a slur and a word that can be used as above. I can’t quite put my finger on what draws the line for me - I’ve noticed that most words I consider slurs are nouns, which may have something to do with redefining what people actually are.
There may be an angle I’m not seeing this from, so anyone please feel free to jump in.
Yeah, and I think there’s a huge difference between applying the adjectival form to a behavior vs applying it to a person. As someone with OCD, I don’t usually have a problem with people describing my behaviors as irrational, because they are. But calling me irrational, simply because I have a disorder that makes me do weird shit? That’ll piss me off.
from girl rising …to consider on international women’s day (and every day thereafter)
if your man groans about international women’s day, throw him into the abyss
“Real Women Read Real Messages from Grindr, SCRUFF, and GROWLr”
I seriously watched this about six times before reblogging.
Lolo Brow bites back against accusations that burlesque is not feminist.
Burlesque is liberating precisely because we could take our clothes off NOT as mere sexual mannequins for the income and titillation of men. We’re not so much catering to The Male Gaze as asserting ourselves that yes, women are all beautiful - and I know you like this, and you know I know you like this - but I’m going to show you only what I choose to show, not what you tell me to. Men who watch burlesque performances could only have fun if they can come to terms with their lack of control over a fully choreographed show, just like a string quartet or a Shakespearean play. Without a male audience substitute on the stage, we are no longer sex objects - we hold the only and the entire portion of power. Feminists saying we’re Not Allowed to do this, is equal to saying we can only wear A and not B, that we can only have this piece of the pie and not that one, and that is not feminism. Feminism is the support of women in choosing and fulfilling any and all roles in life.
chickadee raptor floofs